When I Met A Retired Pad Designer

SURVIVOR STORY

"11 Months Post-Surgery. Still Changing Guards in Public Restrooms 3 Times a Day. Then a Retired Pad Designer Told Me They Were Never Built to Work."

He'd had the same surgery. Same leaks. Hadn't worn a pad in three years. And when he told me why, I wanted to throw every pad I owned in the trash.

By Mark T. i

Post-RALP, 2+ Years

Published April 13, 2026

My name's Mark. I'm 63.

You know the routine. Parking lot. Hot gush. Restroom stall. Peeling off a pad that shifted an hour ago. Untucking your shirt to hide the spot on your khakis.

I beat cancer. Got the tattoo. They gave me a shirt that said "WARRIOR" with the prostate ribbon where the O should be. Six weeks of hell. Clean pathology. I earned all of it.

But nobody prepared me for what comes after.

The part they don't put on a shirt.

Doing Everything Right. Still Leaking Through by Lunch.

Sometimes halfway through the lumber aisle at Home Depot, ducking into the restroom. Sometimes before I even got where I was going.

Right after surgery it was pull-ups. The kind that crinkle when you walk. The kind you step into like a toddler.

Beat cancer and I'm standing in my bathroom stepping into what's basically a diaper.

You don't feel like a survivor. You feel like less of a man.

I was doing my Kegels. Every day. Thirty minutes of contractions some days. Still leaking.

Few weeks later the leaks calmed down enough for guards. Felt like getting a piece of myself back. But that's where it stopped.

The adhesive gives out after an hour or two. You stand up, take ten steps, and the pad shifts. Bunches to one side. Gaps where it shouldn't. Leaks out the side every time you move.

And the whole time you're just… marinating down there. Wet. Irritated. Skin burning. Wondering if people can smell it.

Sound familiar?

And I was dealing with enough already. The leaks. The ED. They warn you about the side effects. They just don't tell you what it's actually like to live with them.

But the thing you don't say out loud?

Is this permanent? Is this who I am now?

Even tried a Wiesner clamp. Got blood in my urine. Stopped after a week.

Tried reusable leak-proof underwear. Two brands. Built for small dribbles, not for what happens after surgery. Soaked through before lunch. One smelled like piss by mid-morning.

It's embarrassing. It's exhausting. And it's every damn day.

I thought: maybe this is just the tax. The shirt is the victory. This is what it costs.

And then it hit me.

Not a realization. A person.

He Was Swinging a Driver Full Force at the PGA Superstore. Three Years Post-Surgery. Completely Dry. I Had to Know How.

I was at the PGA TOUR Superstore. Testing drivers. Trying to remember what my swing used to feel like before every hip turn made me clench and pray.

Two bays over, a guy was ripping drives on the simulator. Mid-sixties. Full swings. Aggressive rotation. Follow-through like he wasn't worried about a damn thing.

That's what caught my attention first. Not the swings. The lack of hesitation.

If you've dealt with stress leaks, you know what I mean. Every twist, every torque, every sudden rotation through the hips. That's the exact motion that sends a gush through whatever you're wearing.

But this guy was just… swinging. Calm. Loose. Not a care.

Then I saw the tattoo.

Prostate cancer ribbon. Inner forearm. Faded. Not new.

Same as mine.

I waited until he finished his set. Walked over. Nodded at his forearm.

"How long ago?"

He looked at me. Then at my tattoo. Then he smiled. "Three years. You?"

"Eleven months."

We talked for a few minutes. Surgery. Recovery. The usual stuff guys like us compare.

Then I asked the thing I actually wanted to know.

"Does the leaking ever stop?"

He laughed. Not mean. Tired.

"I still deal with it. Every day. Three years out."

"What guards are you using?"

Because that's the only question you know. Which brand. Which pad.

"I don't wear guards. They were never built to work."

"You just said you still leak."

"Every day. But I haven't worn a guard in three years. And when I tell you why, you're going to be pissed you weren't told sooner."

We ended up at the little café they have near the front of the store. Two coffees. An hour I wasn't expecting.

His name was Ray. Three years post-prostatectomy. Same procedure.

Here's where it turns around.

Before he retired, Ray spent fourteen years at one of the biggest incontinence product companies in the country. In product development. He helped design the pads. Then he had his own surgery. And had to wear what he helped build.

Here's what he told me.

The Real Reason Your Pad Fails Every Two Hours (And It Has Nothing to Do With How Much You're Leaking)

When you stand up, the leak goes forward. When you walk, it moves to the sides. When you bend or twist, like a golf swing, it goes in three directions at once.

Now here's the part that matters.

Look at every pad and guard on the market. Where do they put the absorbent material?

Dead center. One strip. Straight down the middle.

Designed for a static leak. The kind you get lying in a hospital bed.

That's not how men leak during real life.

"It's like putting a bucket in the middle of a room to catch a roof leak — but the leak moves every time the wind blows. The bucket isn't broken. It's just always in the wrong place."

I wasn't leaking through the protection. I was leaking around it.

And it gets worse.

If you knew the placement was wrong… why didn't they fix it?

"Because fixing it would destroy the business model."

He wasn't guessing. He'd been in those meetings.

"We had prototypes that lasted longer. Better placement. Better coverage. But the numbers didn't work — a pad that lasts all day means you buy one instead of five. So the prototypes got shelved."

A pad that fails every two hours means you change it. Four to six a day. A new pack every couple weeks. $40 to $50 a month. Millions of men. Recurring revenue that depends on one thing:

The product failing fast enough that you need another one by lunch.

So they keep the center-strip design. Add wings. Make the packaging blue. Call it "For Men." The core design never changes.

Ray shrugged. "They're not trying to solve your problem. They're selling you a product you have to keep buying."

And what are you going to do? Go back to diapers? You already wore those after surgery. You're not flooding anymore — you're leaking. But the only options are pads that fail every two hours or diapers that strip whatever dignity you got back.

So you stay in the cycle. And they know it.

I'd spent eleven months blaming my body. My body wasn't the problem.

And here's what hit me hardest. I'd gotten used to it. All of it.

Spare guards in my back pocket everywhere I go.

Scouting restrooms before I sit down anywhere.

Skipping the city trips trip with my wife because I couldn't trust a pad for four hours.

Turning down golf.

Letting my grandson run to me instead of chasing him across the grass.

I'd stopped noticing how much I'd given up. Because when you lose something one piece at a time, you don't feel the weight of it.

That's not healing. That's just managing a cycle someone else profits from.

So I asked Ray the obvious question.

So What the Hell Is the Answer?

"As long as you're buying disposable pads, you're trapped. The only way out is to stop buying them."

Stay with me here.

Ray laid out what real protection would actually need to do:

Coverage in the front, sides, and back. Where men actually leak during movement.

Built into the garment itself. Not stuck on with adhesive. Part of the fabric. Moves with your body because it IS your underwear. Stays in place even when your anatomy shifts around.

If you're dealing with what a lot of guys deal with after surgery, you know what I mean.

Lasts all day. Not one hour.

Keeps your skin dry. Moisture off the skin, smell never starts.

"Put it on in the morning. Take it off at night. Wash it. Wear it again. No trash. No restocking. No scouting restrooms."

"Not a better pad. Something that isn't a pad at all."

That made sense. But I'd heard good ideas before.

The question was: does something like this actually exist?

He Searched for Two Years. Twelve Prototypes Failed. Then a Small Team in Florida Cracked It.

"It does now."

After Ray left the industry, the guilt followed him. So he started looking. Not for another pad. For someone who'd rethought the whole thing from scratch.

He checked everything. Every brand on Amazon. Every startup claiming to be "designed for men." Ninety percent were the same center-strip design with different packaging.

Then he found a small team out of Florida working with waterproof textiles and compression fabrics. Military gear. Technical sportswear. They asked a different question:

What if the protection was built into the underwear itself?

That idea isn't new. Leak-proof underwear exists. But it's built for small dribbles. One thin lining, front only. After surgery, dribbles aren't the only problem.

This team built it for what men actually go through. Not in a lab. On real men. Including Ray.

"I was wearing 3 pads a day, same as you. I knew exactly what was wrong with every product on the market. When I found someone willing to build it right, I wasn't going to let them screw it up too."

Twelve prototypes. Two years of real-world testing. Every scenario that makes pads fail. Too bulky. Layers shifting. Stopped working after three washes.

Back to the drawing board. Again. And again.

And then they cracked it.

"What are they called?" I asked.

I Rolled My Eyes. Then He Told Me What He Was Wearing.

"Menvault. All-Day Protection Boxer Briefs."

My guard went up. Here we go. Whole conversation just to sell me something.

I asked him straight. "Is this your brand?"

"No. I shared everything I knew with them: the design flaws, the placement problem, the testing. Not for money. Because I was wearing 3 to 4 pads a day and I needed this thing to exist."

He looked down. "I'm wearing them right now. Have been all day. Look like normal boxer briefs. That's why you had no idea."

He was right. I never would've guessed he was wearing any kind of protection.

I didn't order that night. I went home and looked them up. Read everything I could find. Checked the forums. Found guys talking about them. Some skeptical, some converted. Sat on it for two days.

Then I ordered.

Here's what happened next.

Pulled them on the next morning. Looked down. Dark fabric. Fitted. They looked like the boxer briefs I used to wear before surgery. No bulk. No crinkle. No visible outline.

Then something caught me off guard.

I tucked my shirt in.

Hadn't done that in almost a year. It always made the pad visible. But there was nothing to see. Just underwear.

Soft. Breathable. Some kind of bamboo material. Not the scratchy synthetic of a pull-up.

I couldn't figure out where the absorbent part even was. No pad. No insert. It's all built into the fabric. Ray told me there are multiple layers in there, each doing something different.

I'll be honest, they're not as thin as regular underwear. You can feel there's something there. But they're designed so you can't see it under clothes. I changed at the gym locker room a few weeks later and nobody looked twice.

And the coverage isn't just down the center like every pad on the shelf. It wraps around: front, sides, back. Exactly what Ray had been talking about.

I didn't believe they could hold that much at first. They claim up to 10 fl oz — a full can of Coke. So I tested it. Poured an actual can of Coke into a pair over the sink.

Slowly, the way it would actually happen throughout a day. It held. All of it. No dripping through. I stood there staring at it like an idiot. That's when I stopped doubting.

That first week I still carried spare guards. Old habits.

But at the end of each day… I hadn't needed any of it.

Twelve hours. One pair. No changes.

Second week. I left the house without the guards. Didn't plan to. Just forgot them.

That's when it hit me.

I forgot.

For the first time in over a year, my bladder wasn't the first thing on my mind.

Walked the dog. Did yard work. Had my daughter and grandson over for dinner. Picked him up without thinking.

Just… lived.

Went back to the PGA Superstore. Tested drivers for an hour. Full swings. Came home dry.

That was over a year ago. Same four pairs. I wash them like regular underwear. Nothing special.

No odor after wearing them all day, which I was worried about at first. The bamboo and the layers just handle it somehow. Still holding the same amount. Haven't lost their shape.

This Isn't a Cure. Here's What It Actually Is.

Menvault doesn't fix your bladder. It's not a replacement for pelvic floor therapy or whatever your urologist recommends.

But it's the first product I've found actually built for what men go through after surgery. Not a thinner pad.

Not center-strip protection with a blue label.

Built from scratch. By a small team in Florida who actually gave a damn.

Don't take my word for it:

Alex Kaplin

Was going thru 4 guards a day. Almost didn't order bc I figured same story. First pair ran a little small — had to exchange for the next size up. But once I had the right fit, first day I wore them I mowed the lawn, drove to my buddy's place, sat through a two hour poker game. Came home dry. Actually checked twice. Still can't believe something actually worked.

Bruce Johnson

My wife bought these because I refused to try anything else. I'd given up. First morning I put them on. They just looked like boxer briefs. Dark. Normal. Wore them to church that Sunday. Nobody knew. My wife didn't say anything after. She just smiled. That was enough.

Keith Adams

I play pickleball 3 days a week. With guards I was changing at halftime and still leaking through my shorts. Embarrassing at 64. Wore Menvault to a tournament. Three hours hard play. Came off the court completely dry. Partner asked why I was smiling so much.

I've seen dozens of guys in the prostate cancer forums talking about these.

You're not the first to be skeptical.

Now imagine this.

Your Grandson's Birthday Party. Backyard. And the Only Thing on Your Mind Is How Fast That Boy Is Getting.

Kids running around.

You're there. Not checking your watch. Not scanning for the bathroom. Not wondering if anyone can smell it.

You stand up. Chase a kid across the grass. Sit back down.

The only thing on your mind is how fast that boy is getting.

Your wife catches your eye from across the yard. She smiles. Not the careful smile. Not the "are you okay" smile.

Just a smile.

Because today you're just here. Not managing anything.

Just here.

That's all. And that's everything.

Before You Do Anything — Read This. Menvault Isn't for Everyone.

These hold up to 10 fl oz. That’s the same amount of a full can of coca cola. If you're leaking around that or less between changes, they'll handle it.

Less than 6 weeks post-surgery? Flooding through 6–10 pads a day? You need pull-ups right now. Bookmark this page. Come back when things settle.

Looking for a cure? This isn't that. They manage the problem while your body heals.

Heavy overnight leaking? May not be enough alone. Use them with a pad inside for backup.

Already decided nothing will ever work? No hard feelings. Come back when you're ready.

Here's who this was built for.

You're going through 1 to 5 pads a day. Stuck in that middle ground. You've been saying no to golf, road trips, dinner out. Not because your body can't, but because you can't trust the product for two/three hours.

You're not looking for a miracle. You're looking for the confidence to say yes again.

I wear them myself now. Over a year. Same four pairs. Put them on in the morning. Forget about them. That's what this gave me

I spent eleven months thinking I was broken. That this was just the tax for surviving.

And then a stranger at a golf store told me the truth.

You didn't survive to organize the rest of your life around pad changes. Restroom locations. The color of your pants.

The Math on What You've Already Spent Will Make You Angry.

At 3–4 guards a day, you're spending around $45 a month. Over $500 a year, on something you throw in the trash every two hours. And that doesn't count the wipes or the underwear you had to toss after all the leaks.

Then I did the math.

When I ordered, the 4-pack was down to $99.95. About $25 a pair.

And when you reorder, they have some kind of loyalty program. You get them at the same discounted price. So you're not paying full price twice.

Two months of guards. For something that lasts all day, holds up wash after wash. And you keep them.

This isn't expensive. The guards were expensive. You just didn't notice because they charged you a little at a time.

Saved me over $400 the first year alone. Bought myself a new Callaway driver. Felt good swinging it without clenching.

They're are not a billion-dollar pad corporation. Fair warning: they don't always have stock.

They do a 30-day trial. Wear them, wash them, test them. If they don't work, you get your money back. Wrong size, they'll swap it. That's how I talked myself into trying.

Ships in a plain box. My wife didn't even know what it was until I opened it.

I talked to the Menvault team. They set up a link for guys reading this. Same deal I got. $99.95 for the 4-pack. Not sure how long they'll keep it up.

I put the link down below. If they still have stock, you'll see it.

GET MENVAULT

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Conversation

10 Comments

Douglas Simmons says: April 13, 2026 at 9:15 am

Thanks for this info @Mark T.. I'm about 1 year post-surgery.. and honestly so glad I tried Menvault instead of sticking with disposables. I was going through 2-3 Depends Guards a day and the cost was adding up fast. Switched to the Menvault boxer briefs about 3 months ago and haven't looked back. They handle my moderate leaks throughout the day no problem, and I actually feel like I'm wearing normal underwear again. My wife noticed I seem more confident too, which is huge. The reusable aspect means I'm saving probably $50-60 a month compared to what I was spending on disposables. If you're on the fence about trying them, I'd say go for it. They're not miracle workers but they're way better than living in disposable pads. And like others have said, keep up with those Kegels. Every bit helps. Stay strong brothers.
Richard M. says: April 13, 2026 at 2:05 pm

Good insight. 7 months out from RALP dealing with moderate stress incontinence. I was using Northshore Guards but decided to try Menvault boxer briefs around month 4. Really glad I made the switch. I coach so I'm on my feet all day, and these hold up through a full 8-hour shift without issues. What surprised me was how normal they feel compared to wearing a pad. My only regret is not trying them sooner, saved me a few hundred bucks. Definitely worth it if you're looking for something reusable that works. Hang in there guys.
Dave McConaghy says: April 13, 2026 at 6:40 pm

Are Menvault boxer briefs easy to wash? Because others did not...
1. Mark T. says: April 14, 2026 at 8:20 am
  
  Hi @Micheal, yes, I just wash them cold or warm with regular detergent. Line dry or tumble dry low (dry very fast). I have been using them for over a year now and they still work great.
David S. says: April 14, 2026 at 11:10 am

Using Menvault for 6 months now. Wife has no idea they're any different from my regular underwear. That's exactly what I needed.
Frank R says: April 14, 2026 at 7:30 pm

Do they work for overnight protection? And second, do they hold moderate leaks?
1. Mark T. says: April 15, 2026 at 8:45 am
  
  @Frank Yeah, I wear them at night too. They give me peace of mind, and honestly my wife likes them better than what I was using before haha. They handle moderate leaks really well. If you're dealing with really heavy incontinence though, you might want to look at Depend incontinence underwear instead.
George L says: April 15, 2026 at 11:20 am

How many pairs do I need?
1. Mark T. says: April 15, 2026 at 2:55 pm
  
  @George Hi George, I got 7 pairs (one for each day of the week) so you always have clean ones while others are in the wash. Not sure what offer they currently have but you can also start with 4 pairs. They have a money back guarantee so you can try without risk like I did.
William P says: April 16, 2026 at 9:05 am

I hate these posts as a vision into my future. I love these posts for being ready for my future. Very helpful!!

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