After pads failed me, the pharmacist suggested I try pull-ups.
"For your situation, you might need something stronger," she said.
I stood there thinking, is this not too much?
I was already embarrassed about asking for adult diapers.
But she assured me these were "like underwear" with "maximum absorbency."
So I tried them.
I ordered XXL because I'm 6 feet tall.
Figured I'd need the extra length.
They arrived, and I pulled them on.
And they didn't pull up high enough in the back.
I had this gap. You know that plumber's butt situation?
That was me. Every single day.
Now look, if you're dealing with severe, heavy incontinence, I get it.
These hold a lot. That's the whole point.
But me?
Some days moderate, some days lighter. Nothing that extreme.
These things were massive overkill.
Standing up?
Fine. They worked. But I don't just stand all day.
The second I sat down in my car, or worse, laid down at night, everything shifted.
The urine flowed straight to the back and sides.
Where there was no padding.
It soaked right through to my pants.
It left a stain on my car seat I can't explain to anyone.
My sheets at night? Same story.
The padding was all bunched up in the front.
Like whoever designed these forgot that men actually sit down.
And lie down. And move around.
One time I opened a new pack, and the padding was on the sides.
Not front. Not back. The sides.
I thought, "Is anyone even checking these before they ship them out?"
And they were so bulky, it looked like I was smuggling something in my pants.
Wearing them felt like the end of my dignity.
But here's the thing, they weren't just embarrassing.
They flat-out didn't work for my situation.